So I have a knack for taking songs and finding meanings out of them that they weren't originally meant to mean. I look at things with a very different view. I was just thinking about that tonight. Sometimes my heart is full and the only way it releases is through music.

The first song on my mind is dedicated to my best friends. You know who you are. We've been through good times and bad together, the fault of the bad found on both sides. But this song represents how I feel about them. Its not to be taken in a romantic way whatsoever. Don't think of that while listening to it. Think of true, pure, friendship and love.

This next song is dedicated to my mission. Coming home early and going through all that entails has been very rough on me. I've felt that I've handled it with grace, but I've had my moments. I've been waiting for about a month and a half now since I've sent my papers back in, and I've had a very trying time learning patience. I thought I'd be going back sooner, but I'm still waiting. It's been my dream ever since I can remember to go on a Mission. This is something I've wanted more than anything else in my entire life, and thats saying a lot because anyone who knows me personally will tell you how passionate and driven I am. I'm putting all of my other dreams on hold; broadway, performing in general, love, family, school, everything. I'm giving another eighteen months, on top of the six I've already given, to this one purpose, and I'd gladly give much much more. So again with this song, it is not romantic, think of it in the sense of a purpose.

I feel so lucky to be me. The life I get to live is such an adventure. There are a lot of big things that I wish were different, but thats a norm for everyone. This is a song that I like just because it lets me let go of things. I don't think I'm a super hero or anything, but in my group of friends I was always known as the "good kid" and was that friend that was always there for everyone. I was happy for that reputation, but sometimes that brought a lot of pressure. I do my best not to judge others, but I do judge myself, so when I mess up, or show weakness I'm really hard on myself. Sometimes I get tired of being the one who takes care of people, or sets an example. This song is my venting song. I don't feel like I'm better than anyone else so hopefully this song doesn't come off that way. I think we all feel like this at one point or another, that we have to be the strong ones when we wish we didn't have to be. Don't get me wrong, I love who I am. This song represents just a little view of my weaknesses.

Hope those who read this have enjoyed a little view of my madness. Have a great evening.

I love break through ah ha! moments.

I had one of those today about myself.

It's interesting how the idea sits right in front of your face, and you slowly see it, and want it, so you run closer and closer and then you've got it. And then there's so much more of it to go over and discover.

Enjoy those ah ha! moments.

I love independence day.

Today, we drove up the canyon and had a big picnic with almost the whole family (cousins, grandparents, etc) and had a lot of fun.

I had ribs. I like ribs.

Food and family are great, but I'm glad I had a chance today to reflect what Independence day is really about. And not just cause I've watched the movie about 8 times now.

I came home from the picnic and saw the fireworks presentation from NY on TV. I was reminded of the power music and media can have on your emotions and thoughts. Seeing those fireworks shot to the tunes of many patriotic songs reminded me about how blessed I am to be an American.

It reminded me on how wonderfully diverse this country is, and yet how united we are.

Don't get me wrong, we've got quite a few scary problems.

But, I was reminded that they are our problems, making them special. Its like that really weird friend we all have. They may be a weirdo, but they're YOUR weirdo. And no one ever, EVER messes with them. You're the only one allowed to pick on them.

We may squabble and fight. Corruption and greed may run rampant. Pornography ravages the land. Drugs claim younger and younger victims. We have a lot of darkness.

But we also have a lot of light. In the darkest night shines the brightest light. There are so many people in America that dedicate their lives to making good.

And no matter what the problems, when we're threatened by an outside source, someone who wants to hurt OUR America, we take them out.

As long as we love this country, and love OUR America, we'll always be able to stand. As long as when the armies of anywhere attack, and we stay loyal, we'll be ok.

We may be diverse, opinionated, and different, but thats what makes us special. When diversity likes that unites, it's unstoppable.

So lets remember, that even though America isn't perfect, and not everybody likes the government, and the economy sucks, its still OUR America, and we should be proud of it.

Firstly, my thoughts and prayers go out today to all those who have been evacuated from these Utah fires. Its been scary.

Secondly, I wanted to talk about dreams.

We all have something that we love or want to be able to do. We feel pulled toward it, and a lot of it makes us who we are

There are many things and people in our lives that tell us that we can't do something. That we aren't good enough, or talented enough, or that we'd never make it for some reason or other.

Well those things can go die.

We are sons and daughters of God. We literally have infinite potential. I love the quote: what would you do if you knew you could not fail?

What would we do? There is literally stores of infinite power and potential in ourselves to tap into. We just have to  have the guts to access them. We're not going to be handed talent on a silver platter.

Don't settle for the ordinary. This was something I struggled with for a long time. I was really nervous about following the arts as a career path. I still am at times. But I realized something. Those goals and dreams that seem too far out of reach are most likely what we were meant to do. With the Gospel, God asks us to do really scary things sometimes. Even though things would probably be ok if we played it safe, they turn out far better if we listen and trust in the Lord.

Its the same with dreams. If we follow our dreams, we'll end up far better than we ever would have otherwise. As long as we're living the gospel, the Lord will guide us on what will tap into our potential.

I really feel that theatre is my calling. This is a scary world I'm jumping into, but I have this undeniable feeling that if I keep my standards and follow my heart that everything will turn out fine. The Lord will not lead me astray. I'm not sure where I'll be in the next 20 years, but I know the direction I want to go. My dreams for now are to earn degrees, perform on professional stages, and eventually become a teacher. No matter what happens, I have a drive and a goal.

Whether or not my dreams come true how I want them to is beside the point. My dreams will come true how the Lord wants them to. I know that I want to make good through my dreams, and if I have righteous desires, and righteous dreams then The Lord will see them done.

Here's a few other things.

Never say never.

Don't say can't or try. Can't is an evil word. Try is faithless and fear-filled.

Do what you're afraid of failing at. For me, even though I'm good at what I do, Its still not all up to me if I make it on broadway or any other professional theatre. But I will do all in my power to make sure that it wasn't my fault if I don't. They won't have a reason given by me not to cast me. I might fail, but I also might succeed.

Don't give up. Don't settle. Don't downplay yourself. You were born for greatness. You're a child of God.

One of my ultimate dreams is to play the role of Jean Val Jean professionally. The climax of this dream is the finale of the show and this moment in act two, when Val Jean prays for the sleeping Marius.

Singing this song is a very spiritual experience to me, and it is my dream to sing it to a sold out crowd.

One day I WILL play this role professionally. One day I WILL sing this song and get a standing ovation. One day I WILL hopefully change someone's life because of it. I know that theatre has changed mine.

Dream big. I dare you. 

This is my life for the past 7 months. Enjoy

So to start off this story, I didn't think I would be here right now. Here meaning home, in good old Springville. I thought that I would be back in Spokane, serving as a missionary, by the beginning of June. For those unfamiliar with the story, I left last summer to serve an LDS mission in Spokane Washington -for what I thought to be two straight years- at the time. I returned that December to fix some things in my personal life. Now don't read into that too much, I came home a temple worthy church member, there were just some foundations to be re-laid, so to speak.

I loved every second of my mission that i've completed so far. I love preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Just to warn you, I'll probably mention that a lot. I promise I'll do my best to not be over bearing. Anyhew, the mission was great. I was absolutely devastated when I found out I had to come home. I'm not gonna lie, it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. It took a lot of guts for me to do what I had to, and to go home with a good attitude. And coming back home to happy valley Utah was no picnic either. I knew a lot of people would talk behind my back, because I have always been seen as a "good kid", and here I was coming home from a mission early. Now, I was so so so lucky to come home to the Ward I grew up in (for those unfamiliar, a ward is a congregation in the mormon church, assigned geographically), because they are literally the best Ward in the world. I've heard horror stories of all sorts of missionaries who come home early getting shunned and treated poorly, but for me that was not the case. I knew from the second I came home that I would be able to walk in those doors Sunday with my head held high. Then and now and in between, all of the members have been so kind and supportive of me, AND non Judgmental, which means a lot. Now with my friends, it wasn't a different story, but it kinda was. I came home, and all of my friends were gone, in one way or another. I felt kind of abandoned. Now this was only because of circumstances out of our control, all of my friends were off at school, or on missions, or busy in one way or another, but I'm not gonna lie, it was, (and still is at times) extremely lonely. I had to learn to stand on my own two feet, with only the Savior to walk beside me. Now this was a hard lesson, because I have ALWAYS had a wingman. All through high school, I had my best friend Chandler, and college I had my other best friend Michael, and on the mission I had my companions, but coming home, I had no one to fill that part of me. So it was lonely. Very lonely. But, I'm glad to say that I kept going. Was it painful? Yes. Am I so much better for it? Of course. I promised myself I wouldn't let this surprise of life defeat me, and that I would hold on and push through.

Now sometimes life is hard, sometimes its easy, and sometimes you feel like you're spiraling out of control into oblivion. But if you just stop and look for it, you can always see the Lord's hand in your life. Sometimes are more prominent than others, but He is always there. I was so lucky to have an experience this spring where is saw and felt it very clearly. I had seen shows at the Hale Center Theatre all through high school, and i always thought to myself after seeing the shows, "hey, I can do that". I always wanted to audition, but I hadn't been around to do so until this past spring. The next show in the season was The Secret Garden. Now Secret Garden has a very special place for me, It was the show I got cast as my first lead in, back in high school. I actually had received a letter from my friend a week before I came home, telling me about the auditions. I remember thinking to myself that If I wasn't back on the mission by the time auditions rolled around, that I would do my very best to make the show. So after finishing a concert show at the Scera theatre, and knowing for sure I would be around, I auditioned. Now this was a big deal for me, since the Hale is not the easiest Theatre to break into. You've got to be exceptionally good for one thing, and you have to have six different people all want to cast you. Once you get in, you're family( at least, thats how it felt to me after the show started ) but getting in is the hard part. So the first round of auditions came, and I decided to use the song that had gotten me the part of Dickon the last time around. We auditioned in groups. I had a lot of fun, partly because I believe that you should just plain be nice to everyone at auditions, and partly because I was singing a song I could nail. So when I auditioned, I felt like I nailed it. It was completely in the creative team's hands then to cast me. To my great joy, I got a callback. At callbacks, I definitely felt like an underdog. I was singing for the role of a dreamer/ghost. They had us all sing in groups and every group sounded exactly the same- professional and ridiculously amazing. I seriously had no idea if i even had a chance. A few days later, I received an e-mail. I was offered a part, single cast. This dream had come true, I was performing at the Hale!

No one could have prepared me for the experience I had next. Rehearsals started, and something amazing happened. Like no other show I've been in before, everything seemed to fit together perfectly, like it was divinely inspired. The cast, the direction, the show, everything brought in the spirit. We had something special. We had real, pure theatre. Everyone in the cast grew insanely close in a very short amount of time. We all trusted each other, and could go to a very vulnerable place for the show because of it. And the kids in the show. Not only were they talented, but they literally glowed. You could see the pure love of Christ shinning through their eyes. For some reason they adopted me as an older brother and an honorary "kid" in the show. In the show, there is a character that never appears on stage, and is only mentioned in the script. He is friends with the children, and helps them with their secret adventure in helping the crippled boy get well. I was not only given this character originally, but I actually inadvertantly became him backstage, behind the scenes, or at least, his relationship with the kids. I took the role of william, but back behind everything, I was also the cripple. From my past few years, leading up to coming home from the mish early I had had struggled through and overcame a trial that had left me broken. But through this show, and through these kids, and the rest of the cast, I became well. I was healed. The Atonement worked through these angels and I was made whole. I felt a promise that, things were going to be ok. There would be times in life that were hard and scary, but ultimately, I would get through them. This feeling always comes to me when I think of the closing lines of the show. Stay here in the garden, as days grow long and mild. Come to my garden, come sweet child. I have been changed for good, forever.

So, as the Secret Garden came to a close, I thought that I was seconds away from returning to the mission. when a missionary comes home early, the process for returning is a little different. Letters from your Bishop, Stake President, yourself, and whoever else you worked with while home are sent to the Missionary Dept. in Salt Lake, who then give you a return date. My papers were sent in right when Secret Garden ended. I expected to be gone a few days later. Yet days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into a month. A month were I was taught the meaning of waiting on the Lord. Now we reach the present. As the new month begins, I am filled with assurance that everything will work out, I just need to be patient. I have learned so much in a short time, and still am very anxious to return to the field.

To close I want to share an experience I had. I've been really thinking about the challenge by the prophet to "dare to stand alone". For me, I didn't have many opportunities to stand up for my standards and the gospel. But on a young men's trip last week learned two things. One, you have to be ready, because you will have no warning before required to do so. Two, I wasn't near as ready as I thought. In moment where the gospel standards were challenged, I chose to tolerate evil, and let it into me, than stand for good. I was crushed. I was supposed to be an example to the boys i was supervising, and yet, here I was, letting things go. I made a resolve to not let this happen again. I decided then that I would do what it took to be ready.

 No matter what you believe in, you must be ready at all times to defend your beliefs, and to fight for good. There is so much bad in this world. It's time for us to step up and fight for the right. You cannot be complacent, there is no middle ground. Remember the most powerful weapon of goodness is Love. Not just any love, the pure love of Christ. It is not our place to judge but his. It is our place to encourage goodness, love, understanding, but not fall into the trap that is disguised with a pretty wrapper, but in reality is an attitude that will destroy us. There is a fine line between not judging, and tolerating evil. The difference is standing up for what you believe in, not being complacent, and doing what's right. None of us are perfect at this, but we can darn well start doing our best.

Thats all for now. Be back soon.